I figured this would be a good time for a vent. Because my frustration is currently being fueled by the obnoxious voice on the other end of the phone who comes to me every minute to remind me that they 'apologize for the delay, but are experiencing a high number of calls.' I hate the government. Unfortunately, however, they are paying for my baby to come into the world, so I have to deal with them on a regular basis. I've been on hold for 48 minutes. I'm in the line of the damned. And so, I take this moment to vent because I'm stressin'. STRESSIN, PEOPLE! (Prepare yourself. This is literally just a long, whiny list of complaints that I'm trying to get out of my head lest they drive me mad. Do not proceeded if you prefer to limit your interactions with Debbie Downers.)
I am 34 weeks pregnant. In two weeks, I'm considered full term and can technically go into labor at any point after that 36 week mark is reached. I have no doctor. I have no medical coverage. I've been in the process of applying for medi-cal since April and still have no reached the end goal. On top of the fact that I have no coverage, I've also heard a lot of really exciting rumors that finding a doctor when you're this far along is it's own special circle of Hell. Why doctors don't want to take you when you're just about to pop is beyond me. It seems counter-intuitive that they would deny you medical care when you've never been in more need of just that. On top of all of THAT, I don't even know who the providers are in Bakersfield who accept Medi-Cal so I can't set an appointment with anyone. And that brings us to this point where I've been on hold with them for almost an hour in attempts to talk to a human who will tell me how to get a list of providers so that I can set up an appointment. Assuming I can find a health-care professional who is willing to take me despite my impending due-date.
Also, Shem has a job, but for whatever reason, they keep delaying his start date. So. No money. Also, I haven't heard back from the apartments about our application. No idea if we're moving out tomorrow or not. Again, child coming into the world in 6 weeks. I'd really hoped we would have a house set up for him by now. Also, the government says I owe them 430 dollars for taxes in 2008. What? Also, they want me to renew my registration which includes a smog inspection this time. Goody. Again, no money. So. Right. It's all good. It only feels like the world is falling in on me. I probably shouldn't even be posting this because I realize it's extremely whiny. And this is one of those times that I'll look back on after it's all worked out and I'll think: Why did I stress about all of that stuff? But for right now, I'm sitting in the middle of it and I'm having just the slightest bit of a melt-down. And honestly, that STUPID VOICE ON THE OTHER LINE IS NOT HELPING! Man.
I irrationally hate her.
I absolutely LOVE how self aware you are! You're on the mark about the insane nature of things. But alas, welcome to Motherhood! You will find as you take on this new role, that just when you need things to line up, it will at least SEEM that they don't. The more the need is there, the more the universe will seem to resist. And one day, you will look back at this, and you will be grateful you went through it. You will be glad to were self aware enough to vent, and also self aware enough that when you are on the other side of it, you learned things from it. It IS stressful. Motherhood is all about putting everything you have into making sure all the ducks are in a row for you Baby (s) to have what they need. And being as we as mortals can only control a pinprick of what goes on around us, it's hard to have so many seemingly incompetent others making decision that affect our ability to be the Mother we need to be! Hang in there! Your faith is GOLD and will pull you through!41
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