Over the last few days, I've found myself reevaluating my feelings about this blog. I've been afraid to post anything lately and I've been trying to figure out why that is. Okay, to be fair, I was working on a pretty cool little Easter post, but that got interrupted by the small ones. So maybe it's not entirely a matter of being afraid to post, per se, but still the point remains: I haven't been posting much. And part of the reason (the part I'd like to get over and will attempt to do through this post) is that I've become paralyzed by the amount of positive feed-back I've gotten when I've jotted down my thoughts surrounding a controversy or something really, super funny that happened to me.
I know that sounds backwards, but the problem has been that every time anything kind of funny happens or I get kind of opinionated about something, I think, "I could blog about that!" and then I immediately wonder if everyone will like it as much as they liked my previous posts. Well. That's a lot of things. Vain, self-centered, kind of stupid since only about 50 people ever read this blog, and a little cowardly. So I've taken a step back and thought about why I started this blog in the first place. Was it to garner the most comments I could? Was it to gain a large number of readers? No. Mostly, this blog was created to share my day-to-day life with friends and family who might find themselves interested. This blog is also something of a hobby for me. I've always enjoyed getting my thoughts out in written word (I've kept a journal since 2nd grade. I'm not exaggerating; I literally have 15 journals full of my past.) and doing it here allows me to also share my life with people which is something I'm very passionate about. (Life and people. Those are my two great loves)
I think somewhere in the back of my mind, I'd love to become a blogger and be paid for my musings, but that's going to take some serious research, soul-searching, and a level of creativity that my brain probably doesn't have at the moment since so many of my brain cells have been dedicated to giving other humans life. SO. Conclusion: This blog is primarily a place for me and for my family and friends who so desire to read it. But I'm dropping the self-inflicted pressure and reclaiming this place! From this day forward, I vow to post primarily for my own enjoyment and not to get caught in the temptation of waiting to post until I have something "really good" in order to receive the most attention.
So, without further ado, I present one of my favorite entry-types: LIST VOMIT!
1. If I were to die in an unfortunate accident and become a ghost, doomed to wander the rooms of my home into eternity, I don't think I'd be very scary. I think I'd probably just hang out with whomever lived here and watch movies with them and stuff.
2. Samuel is now 10 months old and has been celebrating getting older by pulling himself up on EVERYTHING. He's very proud of himself.
3. He's also really obsessed with "What Does The Fox Say". He recognizes it the second it starts and the joy he experiences is actually maybe the cutest thing on the face of this earth. I need to record it sometime soon and post it because. Dang. That's some enthusiasm.
4. Luke is a ten-year-old in a two-year-old's body. He has recently started saying "Oh snaps!" and "What the heck?" with an impish grin because he thinks it makes him sound super cool. He wants to ride his scooter all day every day and watches Spiderman and the Avengers instead of Jake and the Neverland Pirates and Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood like a normal two-and-a-half-year-old. Sometimes I make him watch younger shows just to get a break from all the superheroes.
5. Every once in a while, I still experience a little tiny bit of PTSD from our car accident and have a teeny, tiny, 30-second panic attack that involves my becoming very sure that I'm going to forget what I'm experiencing as I'm driving somewhere and suddenly wake up in the hospital to be told I was in a horrific car accident. I used to get one every day, but they're getting fewer and further between the more that time goes by. It was really disturbing to wake up having forgotten the last two hours of my life. Really. Disturbing.
6. I'm getting healthy again! Slowly but surely. I took a little break from getting healthy aaaand...got a little bit unhealthy-er (are you shocked?) so this week I've gotten back off sugar and have been walking every day. Last night was raining, but it was also date night, so Shem and I got to go walk the mall together. Hooray for meeting goals!
7. It's going to be 97 degrees next Tuesday. Dear weather, thank you for providing me with another reason to be excited about moving to Utah.
8. You guys. I really love music. I mean, I REALLY do. I put on some classical music the other day while I was cleaning and. I just forgot how obsessed I am with that stuff. It's just so good. It made me want to go back and finish my music degree SO BADLY. So that's going to happen. Someday.
9. I took a break from Lord of the Rings to read Meg Meeker's book, "The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers" which I've decided is 'meh'. I mean, it's good, but you know how you sometimes read a book and you really connect with it? This one doesn't quite do that for me. I need to get back to Lord of the Rings because I AM DETERMINED TO FINISH THAT BOOK IN MY LIFETIME, YOU GUYS!
10. Today is Saturday, so to celebrate, we're going to make a fancy (healthy! -ish-) breakfast. Hooray!
OH! Bonus thing:
11. We've started a comment war on one of Michelle's Facebook posts that has now accumulated over 1,100 comments. All involved feel a sense of accomplishment.
Okay, that's it for now. I'm sure I'll be back at some point in the not-too-distant future.