Monday, April 25, 2011


Is your mouth watering yet?
Yeah. Mine too.

For Easter this year, I was in California with my family and my mom bought Starbursts for our communal 'big kid' Easter basket. I'm pretty sure I took just about all of them home with me to Provo.

Starbursts are tasty. I've always been aware of this fact. But pregnancy has made me acutely aware of just HOW true this fact is. I can't swallow them fast enough. And simultaneously, I can't keep them rolling around and delivering delicious flavors in my mouth for long enough. It's actually sort of frustrating to love a candy so much that you don't know whether to swallow or savor.

siiiigh. But, that's the sacrifice I make to continue eating them.

Have I mentioned lately how glad I am that I'm no longer throwing up every day?
Eating is heaven.

Friday, April 15, 2011

My Magic Beans

I am homesick. Wanna know why? I blame these people:
These are the Beans. I love them all. This morning, I was thinking about my sisters in particular and was planning on doing a blog entry about them and how much I love having sisters and how incredible they are, but the more that I thought about it, I realized I really needed to talk about everyone in my family, because they are all legitimately the most amazing people you'll ever meet. I figure I'll start with the girls anyway, since that was the original plan.

These are my girls. Michelle would murder me for putting this picture of her up, but I mean, the bandanas are far too legit to be passed up.

Andrea- There are so many wonderful things to say about this girl...I don't even know where to start. She is absolutely one of the most incredible girls I've ever known. I'm about 10 years older than her which has been really exciting because that means I got to experience and now can remember everything about her being born and being an infant and watching her learn to scoot and walk and talk and sing. Despite the fact that I'm 10 years older than her chronologically, I'm pretty sure this 12-year-old girl's spirit is ages older than mine. Talk about someone who is good right down to their core. She has been such a supreme example to me of obedience to the Lord. She is one of the most spiritually minded people I've ever known. I can't even count the amount of times that I remembered to read my scriptures at night because I saw her reading hers. She is honest, virtuous, lovely and beautiful both inside and out. I admire her more than I think she'll ever know. She's also ridiculously talented. I picked the picture of her holding a cake because I thought that'd be pretty fitting. This girl has been making magnificent culinary creations for more years than I have. And she's about 20 times better at it, too. She's got a natural knack for it. Also, you should hear her do accents. It'll blow your mind. Ask her to speak German for you sometime. Socks. Knocked. Off.

Michelle My Bell- This is Michelle. She's one of my best friends in all the world. And she also just happens to be one of the coolest people in all the land. I know, you're all jealous that she's my sister. It's okay. You can admit it. Again, summarizing Michelle's amazingness in a short paragraph is proving to be a task of such monumental impossible..ness..that it's giving me a migraine. But I shall strive valiantly regardless. Michelle makes me laugh all the time. She is sarcastic and witty and quick and her sense of humor is right up my alley. We play off of one another magnificently and often our afternoons are spent in torrents of giggles and/or out-right raucous laughter. Church is sometimes a challenge when we sit next to one another. Michelle is also one of the most creative people I've ever met. You should see her room sometime. It's covered in art that she's done. It's absolutely breath-taking. She even did a painting for me that I'm gonna put in Luke's nursery. And she writes beautifully as well. I miss this girl every day. She's my shopping buddy and my 'I wanna watch Twilight and mock it mercilessly whilst baking brownies, come do it with me.' buddy and my 'I feel like a big, pile of poo, come make me feel better by saying wise things that are beyond your years.' buddy. She is a spectacularly beautiful person.

Marcus- Talk about talent. Okay. Let me break this down for you: My brother is a bona fide genius. His brain works in beautiful and mysterious ways. Science, math, computers, all things that may as well be taught to me in Russian...he understands. Not only understands, but excels at. He realized there were numbers less than zero when he was in kindergarten. KINDGERGARTEN. What? When I was in kindergarten, I was like, "Sweet! Two cookies!" But he was like, "If I get 1 when I subtract 1 from 2, what would happen if I subtracted 2 from 1?" Also, because of his intelligence, he's flippin' hilarious. He has made me cry laughing about a million times. The greatest thing about Marcus, though, is that he is genuinely one of the sweetest guys you'll ever meet. He is such a good, caring brother and a loyal friend. Also, he makes killer guac and will beat you in chess, Risk, Monopoly, Halo and any Improv Game ever invented.

My Daddy- my hero. He has been the best example of a real man that I've ever had in my life. First of all, the amount of time that he sacrifices for his family is unbelievable. He's up before the sun, and works until way after it goes down. He's working TWO, high-profile, full-time jobs and he puts his heart and soul into both of them. He is supportive and loving to all of his children and to his wife. Watching the way he treated my mother and how he built (and is continuing to build) such a successful marriage highly influenced my ideas of what I wanted in a marriage. Thanks to him, I married VERY well. =) Which, I know sounds kind of silly...but it's actually entirely and completely true. Without his example and influence, I would have never set such high standards for my future companion. My daddy has always made me feel worthy and loved and beautiful, despite the hard times he's watched me go through. He also has impeccable timing in terms of knowing when I need to hear his voice. He always calls right when I need a call from him. Also, he is the world's best whistler and composes some of the most beautiful music you will ever hear. He also writes, speaks, performs, sings and plays the piano and guitar despite never having been given formal lessons. His list of hobbies is vast and endless and pretty much the coolest list ever. Canoeing, fishing, gardening, performing Improv, breaking records and taking names at ToastMasters, there are very few adventures he'll ever turn down. My daddy really knows how to live. (And we eat sandwiches the same way! True story)

My Mama- This is my beautiful mama. The other day in institute, my teacher, Sister Terry was talking about how sometimes the oldest child in a family has a different sort of relationship with their parents than any of the other kids do. She said there's sort of this special bond there that is unique to the oldest child. Now, I'm not saying my relationship with my mom is better than any of the other kid's relationship, but I definitely see what Sister Terry is talking about. My mom is my best friend. I admire this woman more than any other woman on the planet. The strength that she displays daily is absolutely incredible. Equally incredible: the endless amounts of humility she displays while she goes about quietly serving in any way she can. She is the best example of charity that I can possibly think of. I get really defensive for my mama. If you hurt her feelings, I will probably hate you. Because she won't hate you. So I'll do it for her because I'm not as good a person as she is. =) My mom is full of creative ideas and solutions to just about any problem you can think of. Thus, I call her daily with questions. She is also amazing with children. She knows how to talk to them and how to keep them engaged and entertained. The ideas I got from her while I was babysitting were endless and more useful than any movie or board game ever created. She is an exceptionally talented homemaker, thought she'll never admit it. She is an amazing cook, she taught me everything I know about cleaning, she homeschools Andrea, she sews, she plays piano, she sings hymns while she works...she is literally the perfect mother. And she serves selflessly wherever she goes. I want to be just like her when (if) I grow up.

My family isn't perfect. We struggle a LOT. We sometimes don't even get along and we all have traits and characteristics that irk one another...but see, that's why Heavenly Father GAVE us families. Because we're supposed to learn to love them the way that He loves spite of our flaws. I feel like our family is growing ever closer to that ideal place where we just love and admire one another so much more often than we see one another's flaws and imperfections.

Now I'm getting the opportunity to start my own little immediate family and we all get to do the process all over again, but this time, I'm in a different role. I'm so excited to watch our family grow and develop and learn about each other and become as close as my family and I have become. It's just such an exciting life cycle!

p.s. I get to see my family in three days and I couldn't be more excited! They really are my favorite people ever of all time in the universe. And now you know why!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

If I Had a Pensive...

...this is what would go in today. For some reason, I am extremely talkative slash think..ative today, and I feel like if I get some of the swirling thoughts out of my noggin, I'll be more ready to go finish my dishes and read Harry Potter. These are my thoughts:


-I feel like washing silverware is a waste of soap. It's the least satisfying type of dish to clean.

-I love road trips. I love driving to California from Utah and vise-versa. Alone or with people. Snacks, tunes, books on tape, long stretches of silence in which to think, pretty landscapes...what's not to love??

-I am a chronic over-seasoner. I'm working on fixing this problem as quickly as I can, because frequently I make things that taste like Season Salt. I find myself repeatedly promising my husband that I put more ingredients in there than it would seem. "It may taste like you're chewing pure salt and oregano, but I really do remember slicing up potatoes and browning ground turkey meat as well. I promise."

-I made Better-Than-Sex Cake the other day. After it was finished, Shem and I stared at the vast amounts of deliciousness that lay before us and wondered the same thing: How will the two of us possibly finish this massive cake by ourselves? Today, there are only 4 pieces left.

-I'm addicted to sugar when I'm not pregnant, so I usually eat a sugar-free diet. Now that I'm pregnant, I seem to have a built-in 'stop' button like normal people do and I can enjoy a piece of cake without being compelled by some unknown force of evil to eat it until I die. I hope this lasts.

-I am head-over-heels in love with summer. It's my favorite. I love swimming, tanning, BBQing, eating unreasonable amounts of watermelon, making smoothies for breakfast, wearing flip flops, celebrating the Fourth of July, going to midnight showings, going to the beach, camping, coming up with various fun and creative projects to pass the time, and the fact that it gets dark at 9pm and light at 6am. Everyone is aghast when they hear that I have to carry this baby through the summer...and while I have no doubt that being THAT heavy, swollen and uncomfortably pregnant in 105 degree weather will have some obvious down sides, I'm not gonna lie, I'm still antsy for summer. I cannot wait.

-I'm looking forward to feeling my first contraction. Mothers who have done this before and have more knowledge than I do about the subject, please hold back the scoffs. :) I know that once I feel one, I'll be set for life, but I'm still kind of weirdly looking forward to it. In fact, I'm secretly sort of looking forward to laboring in general. It's like a challenge for my body. I'm excited to get through it successfully and to work that hard in order to meet my little boy. It'll be like running a marathon or climbing a mountain...but ten times more painful and ten times more gratifying.

-Sometimes the show "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" should really be called "I Found Out I Was Pregnant in an Unusual Way". I'm sorry, but stories about women getting false negatives and finding out via ultrasound that what they thought was a tumor turns out to be a 5 month old fetus, is not as dramatic or as TV worthy as the stories where the kid is born in a theme park toilet.


This is what my face did after my husband snuck silently and unnoticed into the bathroom while I was taking a shower, only to stand outside the glass doors menacingly until I turned around and discovered him there.

I screamed at full volume not once, not twice, but three times before collapsing against the shower wall and dissolving into hysteric tears. It took me over 20 minutes to stop shaking.

Needless to say, I'm pretty positive he's been permanently cured of his desire to scare the pants off me.

Husband: 1; Alicia-0

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Reason 107 You Should Think Twice About A Craigslist Couch

*Disclaimer* The following blog entry contains adult content and may not be suitable for young children. Or the elderly. Or many male type folk I know. Viewer discretion is advised.

We pulled a crumpled-up pad out of our couch today. ^^^

Correction: My husband pulled a crumpled-up pad out of our couch today. He then asked me what it was. I dissolved into torrents of inappropriate laughter.

All in all, I think it's pretty nifty that for only 50 dollars we got a second-hand love-seat AND second-hand all day, all over protection.

What a steal.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Not So Many Angry Words (And Other Blessings)

Today I've been feeling extremely blessed. I have a short, comprehensive list for your enjoyment:
  • I was somehow blessed to find my PERFECT mate 7 days after moving to Provo, and then got to marry him 6 months later. I do not know how this miracle occurred. To this day, I am baffled at how well we fit. Truly it is miraculous. The Lord brought this about. That is literally the only explanation. Shem shouldn't even exist by all accounts. No one so compatible to me should be possible. Sometimes, when I'm going through one of those moments where I fear I secretly have a horrific mental condition, I'm positive that I have severe Schizophrenia and have completely invented him like this dude did in that one movie:

(Fun fact: Jennifer Connoly plays "Alicia" in this movie. Another fun fact: I saw Jennifer Connoly in "Labyrinth" for the first time the other night. FANtastic. Last fun fact before more things for which I am grateful: I just spelled 'Labyrinth' correctly on the first try without having to first google it to spell check. I am proud.) MOVING ON!
  • I've been having a rather rough pregnancy, but the last few weeks have been relatively comfortable by comparison. I'm no longer vomiting multiple times a day. I am no longer dehydrated. I am no longer losing tons of weight. I am no longer so fatigued that I cannot move. I feel generally perky and upbeat and am now able to do a few chores before needing to rest.

  • Somehow we're making it. Every month. Despite tough financial realities. It's miraculous every single month.

  • My sweet husband is in the kitchen AS I WRITE THIS doing the dishes for me. Because he is incredible. And one of the most selfless men I've ever met.

  • My nesting seems to be mostly concentrated in the area of food preparation. This is a blessing both for myself and my husband as we frequently have delicious foods and baked goods in our home. Tonight, I made something like this:
...and I'm not gonna lie to you, it was flippin' tasty. I LOVE MEXICAN FOOD!
  • I'm head-over-heels in love with this baby already. How much of a blessing is THAT?? Women are so incredibly lucky to be able to experience love like this. It's absolutely amazing. And I was so nervous about how much I wanted a girl. Psh. That all went out the window when I saw my precious little boy moving and kicking inside of me and got pictures of his face and he has his daddy's nose. (As far as we can tell. There's still lots of time for things to change.) Man, I'm in love with him. Also, he gets to wear things like this:
  • Lastly and DEFINITELY not leastly (because this is the reason for the blog's title) this weekend we got to hear modern-day Prophets and Apostles of the Lord teach us all kinds of neat things. This guy's talk was one of my favorite's and reminded me of something which I'll gloss over after I let you see his sweet face:
This is Elder Scott. He is absolutely amazing. And he is very in love with his Eternal companion, whom he spoke about ever so sweetly during conference this weekend. She has passed away, but Elder Scott spoke of her as though they were just away from one another for a short amount of time. It was one of the most tender, sweet talks I've ever heard. It was his talk that reminded me of a 14-year-old desire that I'd actually forgotten about until recently. I've always had a hope that my baby would never have to listen to harsh or angry words while inside my womb. I wanted so badly to be in the kind of marriage that would be free of that kind of arguing. I knew, realistically, even at 14, that a marriage in which you never disagreed was impossible...but I had a hope that I could have a marriage in which we never yell or use harsh, angry, hurtful words. That brings me to the final blessing I'd like to mention:
  • Somehow I've been blessed to (so far) be in a marriage in which we never yell or use harsh, angry words. Sure we disagree, and even get upset with one another on occasion, or hurt by something the other did, but we've never used angry words. And this sweet baby hasn't ever been exposed to raised voices yet in his short life. I feel like this small accomplishment is so encouraging to me who is so apt to making mistakes and struggling with being an obedient daughter of God. I feel like maybe I am capable of being a good mama. Maybe I can shelter this sweet boy from some of the harsh things in this least for a little least so that he can grow up in a home where he feels safe and loved and cared about and where he is never worried that mommy and daddy don't like each other. I'm sure there will be struggles to come in which our goal of never yelling or being intentionally hurtful will be tried. We might (and probably will) fail a few times. But we will never stop trying. We are a united front and working together to create an Eternal family in the perfect, Celestial pattern that our Heavenly Father has designed. What a blessing this life is! What a joy! It's hard for me to express the love I feel for this life, for my Heavenly Father, for my Savior, for my little Eternal family that is slowly growing and for the blessings that I've been given every single day. I'm in love with it. I'm in love with it all. What a marvelous work and a wonder!

We are just so overwhelmingly blessed.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

I Understand Those Parents (A follow-up post)

You know those parents who tell you the name of their child and you think to yourself, "Really? Your last name is Grason. And you're naming your child Mason? Mason Grason? Sadistic creeps." and you judge them? I am that parent. And I now understand them.

Listen. Here's the deal. How do you know that Mrs. Grason (who's last name used to be Smith which doesn't rhyme with Mason at all) didn't fall head-over-heels in love with the name Mason when she was 12 years old? How do you know that she didn't refer to her unborn child as Mason from before she was in high school? How do you know that she didn't already start bonding with this Mason fellow immediately upon having named him?? Huh? Huuuuh? How. Do. You. KNOW?

*deep, soothing breaths*

So. I'm naming him Luke.
Well. Lucas on the birth certificate in hopes that he'll be called 'Lucas Hawks' on the first day of school and just plan ol' 'Luke' from that point on.

Also! I added a cheesy pregnancy tracker thing to my blog. Because it's cute. And has polka-dots. And a baby boy in a pea pod.

More interesting thoughts to come.