I'm NOT pregnant. But I Sure Feel Skinny Now.

*Disclaimer: Parts of this post may be considered "TMI" please proceed with caution*

So, I was late this month if ya know what I mean. (There, I'm getting the TMI parts out of the way early. Feel free to read on, that's as graphic as it gets.)

The reasons this freaked me out are thusly:

1. EVERYONE I talk to lately has been asking me when I'm going to have another baby. My response is usually something like: when Luke stops being one.

2. I've had three people in the last two weeks ask if I'm expecting again. I do not know why this is occurring. I'm not even getting fatter! Maybe I was wearing the wrong sort of shirt or something. But gee...way to make me feel lovely guys. Upon discovering that I'm late this month, my mind of course immediately jumped to the conclusion that I MUST be pregnant if people are asking me about it.

3. Since Luke was a surprise, I'm pretty much convinced every single month that I'm pregnant. This month was no exception, but it WAS the first month that I was ACTUALLY late.

So, I finally broke down (my husband would snort himself silly if he read that, because he knows that 'broke down' actually means 'chomping at the bit') and bought a pregnancy test.

I was at Walmart.

So were about 25 other Mormons that I knew.

I managed to sneak the thing into my cart without any of them being the wiser, but it made me nervous and jumpy so the conversations I had with them were the most awkward conversations of all time: "Uh. Yeah. Hi. Good to see you. Is that your daughter in your cart? Oh..haha...yeah, I'm glad she's yours and not some random stranger's or something. That'd be weir...okay, yeah! You too. See ya."

So it was negative. But there was this blurry line in the place where the positive line is supposed to go, so (because I'm kind of baby hungry and simultaneously terrified of being pregnant ever, ever again) I naturally had to buy another test to make sure.

This time I chose the dollar store.

I had a feeling about this checker before she even rung me up. Something about the way she said, "Welcome to the Dollar Tree!" so cheerfully when I came in. I just knew she would say something about the test. I just knew.

Sure enough: "Ooooo. You're gonna be in trouble."

Not what I expected.

In the absence of my response, she repeated herself, but directed her comments at Luke. Because that's not creepy.

"She gonna be in trouble!"

Luke didn't answer, so I finally said, "No. We'd actually be pretty happy."

So then she told Luke that HE would be in trouble. So I told Luke to tell her that he would be excited. He didn't.

But I think she got the message.

ANYWHOO...lest I keep you all at the edge of your seats that test was VERY DEFINITELY negative so. No new Hawks yet. Which is actually probably a good thing *sigh* since Luke is still so little. But it was an exciting adventure nonetheless.