The Kind of Mama I Want To Be

When I was thirteen years old, my mom made me really mad. I don't remember what our fight was about, but I remember storming into my room, slamming my door as hard as I possibly could and then sitting down to write an angry list entitled: "How I'll Treat My Kids".

The details escape me, but I'm sure the list contained vast stores of knowledge that only a thirteen-year-old who is fairly certain she's got the whole world figured out possesses. It probably had suggestions such as: "I will never tell my kids no," and, "I will always let them have dessert," and, "I will let them have sleepovers every weekend if they did their homework,".

Since that day, I've thought a lot about the kind of Mom I want to be. Especially lately since I've...you know...become a Mom. I thought it was high time that I make a new list. Especially now that more of my chromosomes are here and all.

The Kind of Mama I Want To Be

-I want to be actively involved in my children's lives at every stage.
      ~I want to crawl with them while they're crawling.
      ~I want to chase them while they're learning to run.
      ~I want to be at every game, recital and school awards ceremony and cheer louder than anyone else.
      ~I want to paint with them and wrestle with them and beat them at races into the ocean.
      ~I want to live at their level and see what they see; rediscover this beautiful world through their eyes.

-I want to be Patient
     ~I want to learn not to sweat the small stuff.
     ~I want to enjoy watching them as they learn to behave and take joy in my role as their teacher.
     ~I want to use spills, tears, cut hair, soiled pants and marks on the walls as learning experiences and stay kind as I try to help them learn.

- I want to be easy-going
    ~I want to let them jump in puddles and splash in the tub and sink.
    ~I want them to get muddy and messy.
    ~I want to give them dessert sometimes.
    ~I want them to stay up late sometimes.
    ~I want them to feel safe when they need to tell me something hard.

-I want to live in the moment

    ~I want to gaze into my newborns eyes forever while I sing him to sleep.

    ~I want to memorize what it sounds like when their one-year-old voices are learning new words.

    ~I want to breathe in the smell of them when they're tiny and have that newborn smell and never forget how warm they are and how perfectly they fit in my arms.

    ~I want to be completely present while they bang on the piano and sing at the top of their lungs.

    ~I want to take lots of pictures, write lots of memories and remember lots of moments.

    ~I want to remember that they are only young once. I want to let them be young while they are young.

    ~I want to hold them tight and help them learn that they are never alone; that they never need to be afraid; that there is hope and happiness and beauty all around them. No matter what.

I want to cherish every moment that God gives me with them and never forget that they are His.