Wednesday, May 23, 2012

A Controversy Makes For Exciting Blogging Material

Today, while I was doing my daily facebook stalking, I was reading a friend's status update. It was about gay marriage. The chain of comments that followed were also about gay marriage. And more specifically about how 'stupid' and 'ignorant' and 'hateful' and 'ugly' the people who oppose gay marriage are. For WEEKS now, this subject has been bothering me, but I haven't said anything about it yet so now my thoughts have built to this point where my they are a bit too lengthy to fit in a status update. Thus, I blog. I thought I'd use the few thoughts that I used for my status update as a starting point and we'd go from there. 

I'm glad that I have such a diverse group of friends and that you all have strong opinions and are willing to share them. HOWEVER; hating people who hate gay people (WRONG though they may be) is hypocritical. Hating people who are against gay marriage, but who DON'T necessarily hate gay people (no, those two life views are not synonymous) is worse than hypocritical. It's ugly. It's mean. And you are wrong to do it. Spouting hate in ANY direction is wrong. If you believe in gay marriage, good for you...defend it. But leave those of us who defend traditional marriage alone to do as we believe is right.

For the record, I am against gay marriage. I believe in the sanctification of marriage for both religious and social reasons. Mostly, I believe that the term 'marriage' is defined as being a union between a man and a woman and that when a gay or lesbian desire to be joined, they are entering into a different kind of agreement. They can't be entering into a marriage because marriage is not defined as a union of two people who love each other. If two people who love each other and just happen to be two females or two males desire to be joined together contractually and spend the rest of their lives together, that is just just has to be called something different because it is a different kind of union. 

This is not a position of hate. It is not a position of ignorance. I have no fear of or hatred towards homosexuals. Some of my favorite people in the world just happen to be gay. I have no desire to keep gay people apart. I have no agenda to 'eradicate' them from society. I am a live and let live kinda gal. Your choices are your choices. HOWEVER, when you start trying to legally change the definition of something that has the potential to directly affect me and my ability to choose, I have to stand up against it. 

I don't want to go into any more detail about my beliefs about gay marriage than I already have. That's not what this post is about...if you have more questions, please feel free to ask me. I'm always up for a discussion about it. 
The point of this entry, however, is this: disagreeing with me is one thing; you are entitled to your opinion; BULLYING me, berating me, hating me, or verbally assaulting me because of my beliefs is a different thing entirely. It is completely hypocritical, morally objectionable, inappropriate and just plain rude. Just because someone thinks differently than you, doesn't mean you have the right to be condescending or judgmental. Isn't that one of the reasons you get so annoyed with the 'Christians' who spout off horrible comments about gays? Aren't you exuding the VERY BEHAVIOR you are seeking to abolish? 

You are allowed to express your opinion and I'm allowed to express mine. But can't we do so lovingly, understandingly and with regard to everyone's right to believe as they choose? I don't deserve to be called a bigot or hateful or any of the other things I just read in those comments. You don't know me. You don't know what I believe. You don't try to understand it or see where I'm coming just label me and put me in a category because of something I believe in. 


Just stop it. 


  1. "HOWEVER, when you start trying to legally change the definition of something that has the potential to directly affect me and my ability to choose, I have to stand up against it."

    I completely agree with you on the need to stop the hatred between the two opposing sides of this argument. But this above statement confused me. I do not mean this in a negative way at all, I am only seeking to understand what you mean when you say that changing the definition of marriage will directly affect your ability to choose.

    Thanks for being brave enough to add your voice to the debate! And for seeking love and respect in the process.

    1. actual reply is below in my comments section. Just had a mechanical malfunction. =)

  2. Thanks, Cassie!

    No worries, Jen...I love talking about things like this...I love to hear different thoughts and opinions, I was just sick of hearing them presented in such a hurtful way. That's ultimately what inspired the entry. =)

    But to answer your question, there are a couple of reasons that I think I would be directly affected if the term marriage were to be redefined.

    In California, our education code already states that children are to be taught about marriage in school which means that if gay marriage were legalized, they would be taught that marriage means a union between two people regardless of gender. That means that my decision in regards to what I teach my children about marriage will be taken from me.

    Another big one (and this is probably the thing that made my mind up about all of this) is that churches would very likely be sued over their tax-exempt status if they refuse to marry same-sex couples in their buildings. I've already seen that happening in California. People have begun to bait local Christian churches by pretending they are a heterosexual couple looking for a venue and then suing when they are refused the venue after revealing that they are a same-sex couple.

    I fear that freedom of religion would be threatened in a few other categories as well. Adoption agencies who, because of religious belief, have decided to only adopt out to families with a mother and a father in the home will be forced by the government to change their policies. Several religious adoption agencies have already shut their doors due to the legalization of gay marriage in their area.

    I treasure religious freedom. I think that it is what makes our country the country that it is. I treasure freedom in all of its capacities. I want gay people to be able to benefit from their partnerships and willingness to commit. I would love to see them get all of the rights of a married couple...rights to see their loved ones in the hospital...rights to tax credits, etc...but I don't want my rights and freedoms to be jeopardized either and I fear that the legalization of gay marriage would do just that.

  3. Howdy! Do you own any writing skills or this is a pure natural gift of yours? Can't wait to hear from you.