Tuesday, May 1, 2012

About My Cozy Nosey. And the Bugs That Go There.

I've decided that it's high time I write an entry about weird things that are happening to my body. Because who wouldn't want to spend the next five minutes feeling a little creeped out?

1. This classy lassy must have a cozy nosey because three bugs have paid my inner nostrils a visit in the last week. My theories on why this is happening are these: Either a) I breathe extremely deeply and am sucking them in like a tractor beam or b) my nostrils are extra comfy, slightly warm and offer a welcome break from the heat. It's not like I want to seem inhospitable but I sincerely wish they would stop going in there because it tickles and is fairly distracting while I drive. Why do they go in so easily and why are they then so hard to get out? I'm pretty sure about 90% of Bakersfield sincerely believes I pick my nose while I'm in my car. What an awful way for these winged beasties to meet their demise. Death by picking. You might think this is funny, but I assure you it's snot.

2. I'm itchy. I can't remember if this happens to me every summer but hot dang! It's annoying. I think it's on account of all the extra sweating one does when it's in the lower 90 degrees in April. My skin is rebelling against this ridiculously warm spring. Also, it might be because I spent a whopping .97 cents on a body wash at WalMart. Never again, I assure you. I was going for an inexpensive boost to my scent and ended up with..rabies or something. I'm pretty sure it's rabies. Rabies gives you itchy bumps on your belly, right?

3. The hair I lost while I was pregnant (which was excessive, let me assure you) is now growing back. This means that the front of my hair has little patches of new hair that is a foot shorter than the rest of my hair. I have a collection of mini-fros all over my hair line. It's super attractive.

4. I keep losing two pounds and then inexplicably gaining it back. I'm not really changing anything, so this is a mystery to me. I'm fairly happy with my weight right now...I wouldn't complain if I lost another 6 pounds or so, but hey..6 pounds is nothing. I'm sure it'll come off soon, if the current two pounds that are playing games with me will ever completely shed.

Anywhoo...bodies are weird and glorious and disgusting and beautiful all at the same time. I'm grateful for clothing. And my super cute swimsuit. And deodorant. And band-aids.

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